Sunday, May 17, 2009

How NOT to raise children...

Children are fascinating little characters, ask me, I know. I am an EXPERT on children. I have had my share of children, my own and then I raised two more, I have now raised six children, that constitutes me as an EXPERT.

You see, I learned something on my travels through childrenville; what NOT to do, not a lot of what to do, but a lot of what NOT to do.

If you do not want the truth, do not ask a child.

If you want their rooms cleaned, do not ask, instead, ask for ice cream, the odds are more in your favor.

If you want quiet time, don't let them know.

If you want to sleep, don't tell them.

It would seem that children have an innate ability to sense that you want something and they head in the other direction, on full blown automatic. If I ask them to do the dishes, they head to the bathroom. I have bathroom junkies in my house, or they have good bowels, one of the two. Every time I ask them to do something, they have to go to the bathroom for an hours rest.

I love children, but you have to be a genius to raise one. I haven't crossed that line yet.

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